Expecting Joy (time after camp)

Our life consists of different events. But the most welcomed and long-expected are the joyful events. You are expecting something in your life, then it happens and before you realize it – it is gone already… And in the present we have only memories about those joyful days.

You go in your mind over these moments – significant and not very much, and you add them in your heart. And then a light sadness comes that everything has gone already. Your soul wants the celebration to be continued and for some reason feels lonely…

It is then comes as a relief a memory about miraculous transformation. You see the eyes of the person, the eyes full of pain and despair. You see his troubled glance. You almost hear one million questions that he has asked you. You think about the answers you gave him, about your words of compassion and your encouraging jokes.

And you are amazed how could you answer those questions for so long and that it didn’t take a lot of your time to formulate your phrases. You are surprised that you were not embarrassed to take his hand to comfort him. You think that you were almost crying with him, though heightened sentimentality was not your strain before. And you remember how his eyes were lightened because of relief, how his glance became calm, and the heart beamed with hope and assurance and how his face was lightened with a smile… The moments of repentance before the Creator… The brightest moments and the ones you can’t forget… He is expecting them for so long and He carefully adds them in His heart, and it is overfilled with joy. The words from a prayer come to your mind: “Help me to be an instrument in Your hands”. And all of a sudden comes a clear understanding that your prayer is answered. And joy fills your soul so much that all the previous memories become minor things. Your sadness and your feelings of loneliness go away, and the understanding of personal happiness comes instead. And your heart is thrilled with delight and you are singing a song of praise, giving thanks to God that He desired to share His emotional experiences just with you…

To be an instrument in God’s hands… There is nothing more delightful… And now you are expecting moments like these again and again…